The Why
by make it stop jamie
Summary: Sometimes the simplest questions require the most sought after answers chap. 2 up
1. Prologue

****

Disclaimer: Don't own In A Heartbeat or JAG if I decide to add them.

Author's Notes: This story is a little strange. It came into my head right after I got done watching the movie They. I don't want to say anything else because I don't want to give it away. Happy reading!

The Why

The blood is the thing I remember the most. It was everywhere. In puddles on the hard wood floor. In Maria's hair that was scattered out on the rug, as if she was laying on a crisp white pillow. In blotches that were already beginning to stain the light blue couch. Covering the side of my sister's boyfriend's head like a dark menacing hand. Scattered in small droplets across my baby sister's sleeping features and in a flooded spot on her front.

And the silence. I think that was the worst part of all. Because it hadn't been that way when I went upstairs. When I went upstairs there had been talking and giggling on the parts of two people still exploring a new relationship and some ranting and raving on the part of a girlfriend whose boyfriend was conically dealing with forgetfulness. When I came down the silence was dead.

Everyone tells me that it wasn't my fault. "I" wasn't the one who pulled the trigger. "I" wasn't the one who choose to end my own life and the lives of two others. But I was one who choose to hide in the healing hot waters, while chaos ensued in my living room.

I think about what must have happened there constantly. Where did he hide the gun so that no one could even guess what he was planning? Did Maria even see him before he blasted the bullet from one end of her brain to the other destroying everything in it's path? Did he shoot my sister, his girlfriend, in the chest while she stood in front of the couch in horror? Did he implant the bullet in her head before or after he laid her across his lap on the couch? Why did he do it?

And why did I have to take that damn shower?


	2. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: Thank you all for reviewing I really enjoy reading  
  
them. Keep the nagging up too it does get me writing :) I think  
  
this chapter turned out really well and hope you will like it too!  
  
Enjoy:)  
  
The Why  
  
"I'm not drunk, Val," Tyler assured his girlfriend as they  
  
walked to his car in the early predawn hours of Saturday May 6th,  
  
2002.  
  
"How many beers did you have?" She asked and turned  
  
around to face her stumbling drunk boyfriend of over a year. Not  
  
stopping her pace as they headed to Albert, Tyler's pride and joy.  
  
"How do you know I was even drinking? You were kissing that  
  
guy most of the time," Tyler slurred as they reached Albert and  
  
he took his keys out of his pocket.  
  
"Tyler, the only guy I was kissing was you," Val stated with a  
  
sigh and then held out her hand for the keys.   
  
When they had first started dating she had hated the fact  
  
that he drank and had almost broken up with him over it. But  
  
then Megan Kessler, her best friend from cheerleading, had  
  
convinced her that drinking occasionally wasn't all that big of a  
  
deal and that she shouldn't break up with a great guy like Tyler  
  
just because of a little problem like that. Of course, Val always  
  
made sure she was the one driving.   
  
"How do I know that you weren't drinking?" He questioned  
  
holding the keys from her at a distance.  
  
"I'm on shift tonight," She rationalized and opened up her tan  
  
jacket to show her the beeper. The excuse seemed reasonable  
  
and he handed his keys to her.  
  
Val unlocked the car door and they both climbed into to the  
  
unbelievably cramped car. She automatically went into her pre-  
  
driving mode, seat adjustment, followed by fastening seat belt,  
  
followed by adjustment of the mirrors and finished with insertion  
  
of the key into the ignition. She looked over at Tyler just as she  
  
was about to unlock the parking brake, his warp core blue eyes  
  
were staring at her, but she could tell he wasn't looking at her.   
  
She let her eyes lock with his for a brief second before reaching  
  
over him to fasten his seat belt.  
  
"Hi," He told her suddenly as she had her body over his in  
  
attempt to grab a hold of his seat belt. She felt a smile spread  
  
involuntarily across her face. He had that affect over her  
  
sometimes.  
  
Before Val had a chance to pull the belt back Tyler's lips  
  
were locked with hers. She had to fight to pull herself out of the  
  
kiss. As much as she wanted it and as much as it felt right, she  
  
knew it wasn't right. He was drunk, maybe even a little high.   
  
They were in a cramped car. There were a bunch of drunk jocks  
  
no more than 20 feet from where the car was parked. So she  
  
gently pulled herself away from his lips and his eyes and fastened  
  
his seatbelt.  
  
Not allowing herself to look in his direction she put her foot  
  
on the brake, pulled out the parking brake, put the car in drive  
  
and pulled out. All the while praying that she wouldn't get a call  
  
before she got Tyler home.  
  
She choose to take the back route home from out in the  
  
country where the party had been held, over the interstate  
  
because she needed a distraction out her window. Something to  
  
get her mind off of Tyler.  
  
However, the dark landscape did little to set her mind at  
  
ease. She liked Tyler, she really did. He could still make her  
  
feel the same way he did when they first kissed over a year ago  
  
and he was still incredibly sweet. She knew she wouldn't have  
  
passed pre-calculus that year without his help and encouragement,  
  
but still.   
  
She hated his way of relieving stress. His partying. She  
  
knew that he was under a lot of stress, she was too, but she  
  
didn't use it as an excuse to totally abuse her body. At least not  
  
in the way he did. She liked a large bowl of vanilla ice cream  
  
oozing with chocolate syrup. That was the way to get to rid of  
  
stress. The only painful side effect was brain freeze and it didn't  
  
last long.  
  
She turned left onto to Fairmont Road. Raindrops started to  
  
lightly pound on the windshield. Val turned on the window wipers.  
  
"April showers bring May flowers," Tyler slurred sleepily from  
  
the passenger seat.  
  
"It's May, Tyler," She reminded him keeping her eyes on the  
  
road.  
  
"But how can May showers bring April flowers?" Tyler  
  
inquired, as Val gripped the steering wheel, "You need to lighten  
  
up, Val. Things don't always have to go by the rules," She felt his  
  
hot sweet breath on her neck and knew what would come next.   
  
She hated it when he got like that. It scared her.  
  
She felt her body tense up as he started kissing her neck and  
  
the rain began to sound like rocks bouncing off the windshield.  
  
"Not now," She told Tyler on the verge of hysteria. She  
  
hated the drinking, "I'm trying to drive," He didn't let up neither  
  
did the rain. She hated the way alcohol and pot made him act,  
  
"Please!" Now she was hysterical as Tyler whispered about April,  
  
May and showers in her ear. She hated herself for not leaving  
  
him or giving him an ultimatum, like Caitie Roth, her real best  
  
friend would have done.  
  
"Lighten up, Val," Tyler whispered in her ear.  
  
Val gave in.  
  
She began to lose control of the wheel as she kissed Tyler  
  
passionately back. She knew what she was doing. She just hoped  
  
that losing her would make Tyler sober. It was the only hope she  
  
had left. 


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own AJ Roberts, his parents or Harmon Rabb II. The song is "My Sundown" by Jimmy Eat World and I don't own it either.   
  
Author's Notes: Thank you all for reviewing it really means a lot to me! I'm not sure how this chapter is it might be a little choppy, but I'm trying a new style. Well, Kinda of. I love John Bender! Can you tell I just got The Breakfast Club soundtrack and have been listening to it all evening? Thanks for getting me hooked Rainshower :) Anyways, this chapter begins to tie things back to the prologue and I'm not going to say anything else:) Enjoy!   
  
The Why  
  
AJ Roberts couldn't explain why he choose to look out his bedroom window at the pierce moment the small Albo came into view. He knew who owned it. Tyler Connell. Tyler had been his good friend until AJ quit the football team right after their first varsity game. He knew Tyler saw it as betrayal, but AJ knew that if he stayed on he would be betraying someone more important. His little sister.   
  
He continued to watch the car through the rain in his boxers. He knew he should go to bed. It was late.  
  
He knew it was very likely Tyler wasn't driving. It was a Friday night, actually Saturday morning now probably, which meant that Tyler had done what he had done when they were still friends. Go and drink himself silly and then run off to a back room with a blonde. He knew that Tyler wasn't dating the same blonde as he had been before, but he knew that the blonde he ran off with hadn't changed. It made him sick.  
  
I see it around me  
  
I see it in everything  
  
I could be so much more than this  
  
The car started to veer a little to the right. AJ moved around to other side of his desk so he could see better. He really should go to bed.  
  
The new blonde was driving. Which was probably all she was now to Tyler. AJ felt sorry for her. She knew. She had told AJ that she knew over a chemistry lab. He had nodded. She told him that it wasn't his fault. The drinking made him do it. AJ knew that was bullshit.  
  
  
  
Said my goodbyes   
  
This is my sundown  
  
I'm going to be so much more than this  
  
The car took a sudden left and then a right and then tumbled down the slope and into AJ's front yard. The small underside of the car stuck up and seemed to shield the world from the top that had been smashed into the side of the grassy slope.  
  
AJ ran out his room not even thinking. He ran down the stairs hoping to get to the accident scene as soon as he could. He wanted to save her. She deserved to be saved.  
  
Suddenly he was flung forward. He wasn't thinking, he should have turned a light on. Jenny, Harmon and Kenzie always had stuff out. Even know Jenny was thirteen, Harmon was eleven and Kenzie was seven, they left their toys out like a bunch of toddlers. He wouldn't be able to save her.  
  
With one hand high you'll show them your progress  
  
You'll take your time   
  
But no one cares   
  
No one cares  
  
The light at the top of the stairs went on. AJ squinted in the yellow light and slowly picked himself off the stairs, "What are you doing down there?" Harm, AJ's Godfather, inquired from the top of the stairs. AJ noticed that he didn't ask if he was okay. His REAL Dad would have.  
  
"I thought I'd inspect the carpeting while a good friend bleeds to death out on the front lawn," AJ stated angrily, as he turned to face the man who had taken him in after his real parents had died in a car accident.  
  
"What happened?" He asked. And this time AJ thought he saw concern in the older man's face.  
  
"Her car flipped over the edge of the slope," AJ explained,   
  
immediately regretting telling Harm at all. He would mess things up and she would die. If she hadn't already.  
  
I need you to show me away from crazy  
  
I want to be so much more than this  
  
AJ headed out the front door, into the pouring rain, with Harm following close behind. The cement path that lead to the door was a dark tan from the rain and the grass sloshed under his bare feet as he walked across it.  
  
He hadn't been that close to a car accident since he was five, but he could still see it in his mind's eye. He stood there just shocked by it all. He didn't know how to save her. She was going to die. And he couldn't do anything about it.  
  
Goodbye, lovely time  
  
Goodbye, tinsel shine  
  
Goodbye, I'll be fine  
  
Good good bye  
  
Good good night 


End file.
